


He's Not Heavy, He's My Brother

by NCISVU



Category: NCIS
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 14:52:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3138323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NCISVU/pseuds/NCISVU
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jethro’s heartbroken when he recognizes the signs of PTSD in Tony, the same symptoms he’d struggled with after returning from war, but no matter how many times Tony tries to push him away, Jethro’s not going to stand by and let him self-destruct.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's Not Heavy, He's My Brother

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gaby/gifts).



> for sinfulslasher. I hope you had an enjoyable and relaxing holiday season!!

Gibbs stared blankly at the badge, gun and letter of resignation on his desk. He’d known it was coming but a big part of him was still in shock. He’d been helplessly watching Tony’s downward spiral for months. He’d watched Tony snap at his coworkers and friends, the people he considered closer than family. He’d watched as Tony’s concentration decreased until it was nearly nonexistent. He’d watched as even the smallest things overwhelmed Tony and had witnessed the shame it had caused. He’d witnessed the nightmares that returned night after night and suffered through Tony’s denials each morning. He’d unwillingly been watching from the sidelines, where Tony was desperately trying to keep him, for far too long.

 _“Tony, I get it,” Jethro said, “I really do and you know what? I love you enough to_ beg _you to let me help you. Please, Tony. Let me in.”_

_“You only think you get it!” Tony snapped back. “You don’t. You don’t have a clue. Nobody does. Just… just leave me alone.”_

It was a fight they’d had multiple times and it usually ended in Jethro walking away before something was said or done that couldn’t be taken back. He couldn’t walk away anymore though and he couldn’t just stand idly by and watch Tony fall apart.

What Tony didn’t seem to understand was that he _did_ get it. He’d been where Tony was and he’d been doing his damnedest to keep Tony out of the deep pit of despair that the path he was on so often led to. Watching his lover self-destruct took him back to the first several months after he’d returned from war; the flashbacks, the nightmares, the emotional overwhelm and perhaps scariest of all, the desire to give up on his future. He didn’t want that for Tony but it didn’t matter what he wanted. The cold reality of the situation was that it was happening. Tony had been abducted, tortured and nearly died and now it was happening and judging by the gun, badge and resignation on Jethro’s desk, Tony had hit rock bottom.

“Boss?” Tim asked hesitantly. He’d witnessed the resignation and the disbelief in his boss’s eyes and he didn’t have a clue what to do next.

“Go home,” Jethro said.

“You-you’re not gonna let—” Tim stumbled over his words, desperate to ask his question but unsure how to phrase it. “You’re gonna rip that letter up, right?” A blank stare across the bullpen was followed by only a handful of cryptic words but Tim knew his boss well enough to know that was all the reassurance he needed.

“I’ll take care of it.”

The drive home was filled with fear and unease, two emotions Jethro wasn’t good at dealing with. His lack of personal involvement in cases protected him from those emotions for the most part but it didn’t get more personal than Tony. He pulled into his driveway and parked behind Tony’s car, blocking the man in and preparing himself for what he knew he was going to find inside, a fight.

His keys landed on the table just inside the door and his overcoat came off as he took the stairs two at time. He draped it over the banister before making his way down the hall and stepping into their room and sure enough, Tony’s intentions were clear. His suitcase was laying open on the bed, overflowing with clothes.

“Stop, Tony,” he said firmly. He hadn’t really been firm with the man since the rescue but now it was time.

“Excuse me?” Tony paused his packing and looked at Jethro like he’d completely lost his mind.

“You heard me,” Jethro replied, standing his ground.

“You can’t make me stay here.” Tony’s eyes narrowed dangerously, silently challenging the man.

“It’s here or Bethesda,” Jethro replied patiently.

“You can’t. You can’t do that.”

“You made me your medical proxy. I can and I will but I don’t want to and I’m asking you not to make me.”

“Why can’t you just give it up, Jethro? Just let me go. I… I am nothing. I am nobody. I’m certainly nobody you need. Just let me go. Forget about me. Move on.”

“Why?” Jethro said, mimicking Tony’s question. “Because I love you too damn much,” he finished with a fierce possessiveness.

“No,” Tony said, shaking his head as unshed tears burned his eyes. He dropped to his knees, his breathing hard and heavy as he repeated the word again and again. “No. No.”

“Yes,” Jethro interrupted. He knelt on the ground next to where Tony had fallen and wrapped his arms around the man as he drowned out Tony’s ‘no’s’ with his ‘yes’s’. “Yes, Tony.”

The moment didn't last long before Tony gave in, desperate for someone to help him find his way again and fully willing to trust Jethro with the task.

“Please, Jethro. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know who I am.”

“It’s okay,” Jethro replied. “I’m here and I know and I’m gonna help you.”

Months of tears spilled out as Tony’s body went limp except for the hands desperately grasping at the shirt of the man who was his lifeline. Jethro responded by holding Tony tighter and repeatedly kissing his head.

“We’ll get you through this,” Jethro told Tony. “Just trust me and I promise you, everything will be okay.”

And somehow, despite the fear and hopelessness threatening to overwhelm Tony, he believed Jethro.

**End.**


End file.
